


Lisa Frank Crowley & Kevin

by Pronkbaggins



Category: Lisa Frank - Fandom, Supernatural
Genre: Anime, Bishi, Bishounen, Crack, Insecurities, Scythes, bizarre, cartoons, fields
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:01:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28207983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pronkbaggins/pseuds/Pronkbaggins
Summary: I am at a loss for words myself.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 4





	1. Chapter 1

Gabriel’s parting gift was giving Sam and Dean ugly sweaters with their faces etched onto it. 

“Angels are dicks” Dean concluded with a grumpy expression. 

Sam merely nodded, looking nervously over his shoulder as if Gabriel could be standing there. He bumped right into Dean, who had stopped suddenly mid-walk. 

“Dude--” Sam began. 

“Shh” Dean said, throwing up his hand as if to silence Sam behind him. 

They were at the bunker, but something was off. Everything seemed to exude happiness in an unexplainable way. 

All of a sudden there was a dark presence behind them and Sam and Dean whirled around.

“Hello Boys”

Dean let out a sound of disgust and Sam simply raised his eyebrows as far as they would go. Before them stood the King of Hell in his usual black overcoat. However, he was standing atop a rainbow colored cute tiger and his hair was bright pink. He had fluorescent sunglasses on and there were rainbow turtles surrounding him. 

Dean threw holy water onto him, which resulted in Crowley cursing loudly and writhing away, his skin smoking and hissing as the water came in contact with him. 

“What the bloody hell was THAT for?” Crowley groaned, adjusting his sunglasses. 

“Well I know you’re the spawn of evil” Dean grunted “but I have never seen anything so hideous.”

“You arrogant--I just spent hours with Lisa Frank trying to perfect my look and this is how you treat me? Have you forgotten who I am???” Crowley screamed. 

Dean threw more holy water at Crowley, and the demon screamed and disappeared in a puff of red smoke and glitter, leaving the tiger behind. 

“Let’s get in the bunker” Dean growled, tucking the flask of holy water into the inside of his jacket. 

Sam still looked perplexed, but complied. 

Inside the bunker, some soft singing could be heard echoing off the walls. 

“Dean? I don’t think we’ve vanquished all the evil yet” Sam said, his fingers tapping lightly onto the edge of the gun he tucked in the back of his pants. 

Dean drew out his gun and nodded at Sam. They slunk towards the noise until they found it came from Kevin’s room. 

That’s when it all became apparent. 

The entire bunker was rainbow colored. There was fluorescent coloring everywhere with all kinds of magical animals walking around. The singing was in Kevin’s voice. He opened the door and Dean recoiled in some horror. Kevin had a huge head with bubbly eyes and a rainbow colored outfit on. Dean hated to admit it but he was adorable. 

“Hey guys, what’s wrong?” Kevin asked, blinking his giant eyes innocently. 

“What is right!?” Dean gasped. 

“Kevin---I….” Sam began, at a loss for words.

Kevin cocked his head and then saw all the animals behind Sam and Dean. 

“Oh no, not again” Kevin groaned, slapping his own forehead “I thought I translated that part of the tablet correctly...I thought I vanquished the Lisa Frank curse”

“Lisa who?” Sam said, still in shock. 

Dean had no comment. He didn’t want Sam to know he recognized the brand. 

“Yeah. Crowley has been desperate to get his hands on the Lisa Frank curse, so he’s been trying to summon all of Lisa Frank’s powers” Kevin explained “but a side effect of translating the tablet and the Lisa Frank curse is you begin to look like Lisa Frank’s creations. You know….rainbows, cartoons…” 

Kevin gestured around himself. 

“How do you get rid of it?” Sam said in a little worry “does it rub off?”

“Yeah, it will if I don’t get the translation done soon” Kevin side, posing cutely “but I’m on it.”

Sam backed out of the room and Dean simply kept getting distracted by all the colors. 

“Aha! It says that I will need the repressed memories of a righteous human and the pain of one saddled with evil mixed with chia seeds and the blood of a cartoon. Well, looks like we’ve got everything but chia seeds” Kevin sighed, slicing his palm as glittery blood flowed out into a bowl. 

“Where the heck are we getting that other stuff?” Dean said gruffly, crossing his arms. 

“Well, Sam had demon blood” Kevin said, pointing at Sam and mouthing ‘read the books.’ He shrugged harder than a hunter looking for a tool bag and said “saddled with evil? We just need some of Sam’s pain.”

“No” Dean said flatly. 

“No, I’ll do it. Don’t listen to Dean” Sam huffed as he stepped forward. 

“This may get weird” Kevin said, touching Sam and chanting some words. 

Sam furrowed his brow and let out a slight gasp of pain. Suddenly his neck began to lengthen. His hair began to shorten. His arms grew twice as big and light began to pour out of his ears. This went on for twenty minutes until Sam’s neck was so long it nearly filled the room. Suddenly Sam was back to normal. 

“Uhhhhh” Dean trailed. Sam had no memory of what happened. 

“And now...the repressed memory of a righteous person. Dean, step forward…”


	2. Paisley Plaid John Winchester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Lisa Frank curse needs to be cured.

Dean refused to step forward. “I ain’t righteous.”

Sam and Kevin rolled their eyes. Sam grabbed Dean’s arm and held it out for Kevin the cartoon. 

“I don’t like this” Dean said “I don’t want my neck to grow longer.”

“What?” Sam asked in confusion and Dean only smiled at him. 

“Think about something you really really don’t want to think about” Kevin said, chanting a few words. 

Millions of horrible memories began to flood Dean’s mind. He felt like he was being ripped into a thousand pieces. Suddenly he was time warped into a small room that had paisley walls and plaid bed sheets. Something in the wall was moving, but Dean was unarmed. 

“Dean”

The voice hit Dean like a baseball player hitting his own face with a bowling ball. His father. A lump began to form in Dean’s throat. 

“Dad…?”

The thing in the wall finally stepped forward. It was John alright. He had paisley skin and he was wearing Sam’s plaid shirt. 

“Son. What are you doing here?”

“Dad, what’s wrong with your skin?” Dean said in worry. 

“That is none of your concern right now Dean” John said, standing stiffly as if he could not move his limbs “remember, Sam is a priority. Right now he needs to be potty trained, and there is a poltergeist haunting him.”

“Uhhhh”

Suddenly Dean was back in the room with Lisa Frank Kevin and Sam. 

“Dean, your face got so white I thought you died” Sam said “what was the memory?”

“Honestly...you don’t want to know. I don’t think it was a memory. What the **** was that???” Dean said, clutching his head. 

“I got the chia seeds you asked for” Castiel’s voice announced. 

“Uh...none of us asked for that yet” Sam said as he jumped a little. 

“But Dean was thinking it” Castiel said, disappearing. 

“Perfect” Kevin said, mixing the ingredients. Everything began to hum stupid music loudly for ten minutes and suddenly everyone was back to normal.


	3. Lion King Bobby

The phone ringing sliced the air like a butcher slicing a ham with his subconscious. Dean fumbled with it and picked it up with a shaky hello. 

“Dean. You’ve got to come quick” Bobby said, his voice full of urgency. 

Sam gave Dean a questioning look and Dean held up a finger. “Bobby? What is it?”

“I ain’t got time to explain, ya idgit. Get your butts down to Sioux Falls and I’ll fill ya in. Believe me, ya gotta be here to understand. Oh! And bring your ammo” Bobby said, hanging up. 

“It was Bobby” Dean said, even though Bobby was somehow alive and nobody cared about that fact “he wants us to visit him. He wouldn’t explain.”

Sam fainted and then got back up but nobody noticed. 

“I’ll batten down the hatches. You guys go” Kevin said with a smile “it’s good to be me again.”

“Give us a ring, kiddo, if there’s any trouble” Dean said with a pat on Kevin’s back. 

The car ride was long. Dean refused to play anything else but Master of Puppets on loop, occasionally looping back to the beginning of the song in the middle of the song just to get on Sam’s nerves. 

When they got to Bobby’s house they couldn’t recognize it. It was like a jungle. Plants were growing everywhere and animals were walking around. 

“Looks like the Lisa Frank disease has spread to good ol’ Bobby’s house” Dean groaned, getting out and opening the trunk. 

“Can’t imagine what is going on” Sam said as Dean pulled out some ammo and handed it to Sam. 

Suddenly upbeat drum music began to play. The boys went back to back, guns brandished, looking for what could be doing that. 

The music only got louder. Suddenly Bobby jumped out of his house in a full on lion suit screaming “I’m gonna be a mighty king, so enemies beware!”

As soon as he jumped out the entire property turned rainbow jungle colors. Sam had no control over himself, he just got pulled by some invisible force into the scene and said snidely “I’ve never seen a king of beasts with quite so little hair!”

Dean’s eyes widened and he wasn’t sure whether to look away in horror or laugh and take out his camera phone. 

He went with the camera phone. 

Bobby continued to sing the song loudly and proudly, wearing a lion outfit the entire time. Sam reluctantly played along as Zazu. Once the song was over, Bobby was panting and screamed “help me!”

That was before he began to approach Dean and call him ‘Mufasa’ and demand to go to the elephant graveyard. 

“How do I stop it???” Dean asked, flipping through his dad’s journal.

Near the last page, John had written “in case of lion king, shout out your true feelings and proceed to reap the fields.”

“What?” Dean asked aloud. Since Bobby looked really in pain and foolish, he took a deep breath and said quietly “I get insecure a lot and I really wish Sam would feel as strongly about our family as I do because I really need him and I need him to need me.”

Nothing happened, but a scythe appeared out of nowhere with the words ‘louder’ written on them. Dean grumbled and struggled for a good three more lion king songs before he shouted out what he said before. 

Fields appeared in front of Dean with the words ‘good job’ written on wheat. He hacked through the fields in some anger at having said what he said aloud. Bobby and Sam were suddenly cured. 

“What did you say earlier?” Sam said. 

“I said get out of my damn business!” Dean shouted, throwing the scythe aside as a loud chorus of “YAAAAAYS” and confetti exploded everywhere. 

“Thank you boys” Bobby said “now if you don’t mind, I’m going to go bathe for the next 40 years to cleanse myself.”


	4. Bishounen Destroyer Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know.

Sam and Dean did not talk about that day’s events. They decided to stay at the motel instead of at Bobby’s weird jungle place. 

Dean flopped onto the bed and let out a sigh of relaxation. He pulled out his laptop and said “mind stepping out Sammy? I need some me-time.”

“Ugh, whatever Dean” Sam said, rolling his eyes as Dean was being gross. 

“Come on. Just make a grocery run” Dean frowned “and don’t forget the pie.”

“Yeah, yeah. You lay here then” Sam sighed, slinging a bag over his back and heading out towards the grocery store. Dean seemed pleased with himself, at least. 

On his way to the Gas N’ Sip, Sam began to feel a strange tingling in his fingertips. He brushed them against his pant legs and glanced over his shoulder. Nothing. 

The tingling continued like a Zumba professional disguising a new routine as a dinner prayer. As Sam got some vegetables and piled them into the bag, he heard some strange noises coming from the cashier. They were like little masculine “hmphs” and sighs. He couldn’t spot a male cashier anywhere, though. There was just that nice looking woman with her back turned at the cash register. 

Sam was just about to grab the pie when the woman turned around. The tingling in his fingertips grew so intense that he felt his hands shaking. It wasn’t a woman at all. It was just some really strangely gorgeous boy with long blue flowing hair. 

“Hmph. What do you want?” the man huffed, his large eyes blinking and his hair and shirt flowing. 

“Wh---what are you?” Sam stammered, feeling his hands shaking violently. He wanted to strangle this boy, but he had no idea why. 

Rose petals began to flow from nowhere and the boy frowned. “Ah. You do not know what you want. Typical” the boy said, giving Sam a wink. 

Before Sam could stop himself, he lunged at the beautiful boy thing and slapped him across the face. 

“Unh! Ack! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!?! Sensai!?!?” the boy shrieked “my beautiful face!”

“I...I…” Sam stammered as the boy began to break into a million pixels and left a single rose in his place. 

“Oh thank you” a weak voice said from behind the counter. It was an old ugly normal man. 

“What?” Sam said worriedly. 

“Thank you. That monster came in here and possessed me” the man said “I have never been more beautiful, but all I could think about was impressing young girls and going to school in Japan or ruling the world.”

“Tell me what happened” Sam said, putting the vegetables on the counter “moment for moment. I may be able to help.”

“This giant blue cloud appeared out of nowhere and screamed ‘TRANSFORM TO YOUR TRUE FORM BISHOUNEN’ and something else in Asian or something” the man said with a shrug “and before I knew it--”

Outside there was a loud boom. 

“Hold that thought” Sam said, running outside to see some hobo rising up into the sky in a pink cloud. 

The hobo suddenly spun around and music began to play. A scepter appeared in one hand. His legs were suddenly long and beautiful, being adorned with golden ribbon. His face grew young and beautiful, his hair pink and short. By the time he landed with a ‘bang’ he was a beautiful man with pink hair and a white suit with golden ribbon. 

“Ah, you again” he said charmingly to Sam. He was somehow taller than Sam and surprisingly good looking. 

The tingling was overwhelming. 

“What ARE you?” Sam shouted, backing up and shoving his hands in his pockets. 

“A bishounen, hmph! Can’t even recognize me. You soon will” the then-hobo said, strutting off as women swooned. 

“Wait….why are you doing this?” Sam shouted, but before he could help it he was running after the beautiful boy and ended up slapping him really hard on the back of the head. The tingling stopped, but the boy screamed in Japanese and vanished into pixels. He left a single carnation in his place. 

Sam rushed home, feeling shaken. He had never seen anything like this before. He phoned Dean. 

“This is Dean’s other, other cell--”

Sam hung up the phone with a huff. When he got to the motel the door was open and he burst in, his hands suddenly tingling again. 

“Sam! Where’s my pie?” Dean said with a smile “woah….woah why the hot chick? I thought you went on a grocery run.”

“What hot chick?” Sam said, whirling around. 

Sure enough, behind him was a man so androgynous and tall and pretty that it could have been a woman. His long black hair sparkled and his voice was deep as he said “heh.”

“That isn’t a woman!” Sam warned Dean, putting his hand out to stop the man “I’m warning you---”

“Sammy, where are your manners?” Dean said, coming to the door and looking the man up and down. 

“It’s a man Dean” Sam said with a small smile of amusement. 

“What? No” Dean said in shock. 

“It’s a bishounen”

“Bishounen aren’t real” Dean said and Sam gave him a look of shock. Dean looked away in embarrassment. 

“Heh. I found you. You destroyed my brothers” the bishounen said “you must be the one they speak of. Sam.”

“This….thing you clearly know about” Sam said, his hands shaking “it possesses people.”

“Only to make the world a beautiful place so that we may rule it” the bishounen said with a charming grin, touching his own chin charmingly as he gave Sam a look with half lidded eyes. 

Dean seemed to just be confused by the whole thing. 

“Well, it is a shame to waste such close kin” the bishounen said, pointing at Dean “but I must get rid of you both now.”

Before it could move, Sam slapped the bishounen hard across the face. 

The bishounen staggered but righted himself. “Ha! Hmph. I am the alpha bishounen. You have met your match.”

Sam had no idea what he was doing, but suddenly his whole body tingled. He was spinning and a heart want appeared in his hand. He pointed it at the bishounen, who shrieked and exploded into a million heart shapes. He left a tulip in his place. 

“What the ****” Dean said, actually really enjoying the whole thing. 

“You took the words right out of my mouth” Sam said in some shock.


End file.
